


Rocky Horror Picture Show but it’s Hazbin Hotel

by FurbyDisaster53



Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [3]
Category: Hazbin Hotel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Murder, Rocky Horror Picture Show References, Sexy Times, musical numbers, this was weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FurbyDisaster53/pseuds/FurbyDisaster53
Summary: Baxter and Nifty’s car broke down, and they ended up at a mysterious hotel. But They arrived on a....special night; the night Dr. Angel Dust is revealing his new creation. Soon everyone winds up in a plot about murder, hatred, and of course, sex.I didn’t come up with this myself: NovaDoesArtAndStuff on Reddit did. I just wanted to write it out.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Baxter/Nifty, Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974124
Comments: 38
Kudos: 26





	1. It was a Night Out

It all began on an ordinary day in hell. Nothing was unusual at all; Nifty and Baxter had simply gone to a wedding for some mutual friends, Moxxie and Millie. Now they were on their way to the parking lot, with Nifty carrying the bouquet she caught. “I love weddings. It’s just so nice seeing two people who love each other for so long get married,” she sighed. “Yeah. Those imps are really lucky,” Baxter nodded. “Yeah!” Nifty smiled. The two kept walking, then Baxter stopped. “Hey Nifty?” he asked. “Yes, Baxter?” replied Nifty. “I’ve got something to say,” he continued. “Uh Huh?” she asked. “I really love the skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride’s bouquet,” finished Baxter. “That’s weirdly specific but ok!” Nifty smiled. “Well no just uh….look what I’m trying to say is….well we’ve been going out for a while, ever since meeting at Sir Pentious’s exhibit, and well I just gotta ask….” he said, before getting on one knee and pulling out a ring. “Nifty, will you marry me?” he asked. 

“Oh my gosh! Yes yes yes! Of course I will!” she smiled, before Baxter got up and slid the ring on her finger. “Yes! I love you!” Baxter said, before pulling the little cyclops into a hug. “I love you too! This is amazing! I can’t wait to get married!” she exclaimed. “Me either! Oh! You know who we should tell?” asked Baxter. “Who?” Nifty asked. “Sir Pentious! I mean, we did meet at his exhibit,” he replied. “Yes! Good idea. Let’s get going,” Nifty said, as they got in the car. As they did, it began raining. It was uncommon in hell, but not out of the ordinary. They weren’t going to let it bother them though; the two of them were going to have a night out that they would never forget.

Nifty sat in the passenger seat, admiring her ring. “Where’d you find a diamond this big anyway?” she asked. “I made it in my lab. It took me hours, but nothing is too good for you,” replied Baxter. “It’s so sweet! You’re really sweet,” she smiled, causing the angler fish to blush. “Aww so are you,” he replied, before a pause. “Shit, that rain is really coming down,” he muttered. “Think we should stop?” Nifty asked. “Hmm...no. Let’s just hurry and get back to our house. We can always talk to Sir Pentious another time. Here, we can take this short cut,” Baxter said, before turning onto a side road. 

After driving for a while, they wound up in a more secluded area of hell, almost like a forest. There were no nearby buildings, and no other cars to be seen. Then their car lurched to a stop. “That didn’t sound good.” Nifty said. “Hang on, I’ll look,” Baxter said, getting out. Nifty followed him, and the two found themselves staring at a flat tire. “Well shit,” Baxter sighed. “Do we have a spare?” Nifty asked. “I don’t think so. And I don’t have my cell. You?” Baxter asked. Nifty pulled out her phone to check. “Aw man, it’s dead,” she sighed. “Fuck. Um….okay, you wait here and keep warm, I’m going to go get help,” Baxter said. “Where are you going to go?” Nifty asked. 

“Ummm…..I think we passed some kind of hotel back down the road a few miles back. Maybe they can help us,” Baxter shrugged. “Oh! I'm coming with you,” Nifty smiled. “Oh come on, both of us don’t need to get wet,” Baxter said. “I said I'm coming with you. Besides, honey, the person in charge might be a beautiful woman and you might never come back,” Nifty teased. Baxter just smiled and rolled his eyes. “Nifty, sweetheart, trust me, there is no woman I will ever like more than you,” he said. “Awwww,” Nifty smiled, before Baxter handed her a newspaper. “Here, to keep you dry,” he said, as she held it up over her head. “What about you?” asked Nifty. “I’m a fish, I’m fine with a little water. Now let’s go,” Baxter said. Nifty nodded, and the two of them headed to the direction they had seen the hotel.

And so it seemed that luck had smiled on Baxter and Nifty, and that they had found the help that their problem needed……...or had they?


	2. Let’s Do The Time Warp Again

Nifty and Baxter made their way back to the strange hotel, with Nifty clinging to Baxter’s arm, as if the scientist could offer any sort of real protection. “Baxter, I don’t like this, I’m scarred,” she said. “Nifty, it’ll be ok! We won’t be here long, I promise,” replied Baxter, before he knocked on the door. Husk opened it and stared at them. “The fuck do you want?” he asked. “Oh um, hi! My name is Baxter, and this is my fiancé, Nifty. Um, could you help us? Our car broke down about two or three miles back. Do you maybe have a phone or a spare tire or….something?” Baxter asked.  
“You're wet,” said Husk. “Yeah, the rain has been pretty heavy,” Nifty replied, before a crash of lightning. “Alright, the two of you can come inside,” Husk groaned, moving aside for them. “Thank you very much,” Nifty smiled, as she and Baxter went inside. 

As soon as they walked in, Baxter and Nifty took a look around. They noted the odd decor of the place, and noises of a party in the other room. “This place is filthy! What kind of a place is this?” Nifty asked. “Probably some kinda rehab center for rich weirdos,” answered Baxter. Nifty tried to take her mind off the filth, and she looked back at Husk. “Are you having a party?” she asked. “Nope. You two came on an...interesting night. The master is having one of his affairs,” the cat answered, as Mimzy walked in. “Oh, lucky him,” Nifty smiled, laughing nervously. “He's lucky, you’re lucky, I’m lucky, we’re all lucky!” Mimzy exclaimed. 

“Oh shit, time for the number,” Husk muttered. “Husky, you don’t need to sing if you don’t want to,” Mimzy said. “I really don’t want to, but it’s iconic,” he replied, before he started singing. “It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes it's toll...But listen closely…” “Not for very much longer!” Mimzy cut in, before Husk started up again. “I've got to keep control. I remember doing the Time Warp! Drinking those moments when the blackness would hit me!” “And the void would be calling!” they both sang, before pulling Nifty and Baxter into a room full of people. “Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!” they sang, as Nifty passed out for no reason.  
“It's just a jump to the left! And then a step to the right. With your hand on your hips!  
You bring your knees in tight. But it's the pelvic thrust! They really drive you insane.  
Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!” The crowd sang. 

Soon Charlie ran in with a gold top hat, just in time for her solo. “Well, I was walking down the street, just having a think, when a snake of a guy, gave me an evil wink! Well it shook a me up, it took me by surprise. He had a pick-up truck, and the devil's eyes! He stared at me, and I felt a change. Time meant nothing! Never would again!” she exclaimed, before diving into a tap solo. “Let's do the Time Warp again. Let's do the Time Warp again!” Everyone finished, before lying on the ground. 

“...um….say something, Baxter,” Nifty whispered. “Ok. Hey! Do any of you guys know how to Maddison?” he asked, before turning to Nifty. “Let’s just go,” he sighed. “I thought you wanted to get help?” Nifty asked. “Well I do! These people just seem like a bit much,” replied Baxter. “Sweetie, this is hell, what did you expect?” Nifty asked. “It’s still weird,” he muttered. “Look, we’re here together. There’s nothing to worry about,” a Nifty said, before they turned and saw Angel Dust, wrapped in a black cloak.  
“How d'ya do, I….see ya met my...faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down because….when ya knocked…..He thought ya were the candy man,” Angel sang, before he headed towards the stage. “Don't get strung out. By the way I look. Don't judge a book by its cover. I'm not much of a man….. by the light of day. But by night I'm one hell of a lover,” he started, before dropping the cloak to reveal a sparkly black corset. “I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania! Let me show ya around, maybe play ya a sound. Ya look like ya both pretty groovy. Or if ya want something visual that's not too abysmal….We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie!” Angel sang, before getting some water. 

“I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry,” Baxter stammered. “Right!” Nifty nodded. “We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car. We don't want to be any worry,” he finished. “Well, ya got caught with a flat, well, how about that? Well, babies, don't ya panic. By the light of the night, it'll all seem alright. I'll get you a satanic mechanic. I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transexual, Transylvania. Why don't ya stay for the night? Or maybe a bite? I could show ya my favorite obsession. I've been making a man. With red hair and grey skin  
And he's good for relieving my tension. I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transexual, Transylvania. HIT IT, HIT IT. I'm just a sweet transvestite! From Transexual, Transylvania! So, come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab. I see ya shiver with antici————-Pation. But maybe the rain! Is really to blame. So I'll remove the cause. But not the symptom!” sang Angel, and he went up the elevator after finishing his song. 

“What the hell just happened?!” Baxter exclaimed.


	3. The Gift of Life

Baxter and Nifty were left staring at one another. “We gotta get out of here,” Nifty said. “Okay okay, yeah. I know that was fucking weird, but we can’t really GO anywhere. The car’s got a flat. We just have to wait here until we get help,” replied Baxter. “But what if something terrible happens?” asked the cyclops. “Nothing terrible is going to happen! Like you said earlier. We’re gonna be fine!” Baxter said, as Husk and Mimzy started undressing the couple. “Holy shit! Is this really necessary!?” Baxter shouted. “No, not really,” Mimzy answered, as she finished taking off his pants.

“The two of you are really lucky to be invited up to Angel’s lab. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege,” Charlie said. “People like you maybe,” Baxter muttered, causing her to giggle. “I’ve seen it!” she replied. “Oh please. You know, I’ve got a lab too!” Baxter yelled. “Not like his,” Charlie smiled, as she, Mimzy, and Husk led the couple to the elevator. “Is he….is Angel your husband?” Nifty asked, getting the three servants to laugh. “The master isn’t married. And I don’t think he ever will be. We just work here,” replied Husk, as the elevator stopped at the lab.

The group filed out, and they saw Angel standing there in a teal medical dress. “Mimzy, Charlie, go help Husk. I’m gonna get to know our guests,” Angel smiled, as he looked them over. “Baxter! I-I’m Baxter. And this is my fiancé, Nifty,” the fish stammered. “Hi,” Nifty said, smiling nervously. Angel smiled too, then he kissed Baxter’s hand, causing the fish to internally panic. “Encante. How nice. And what good lookin’ underclothes ya both have! Here, take these. They’ll make ya feel less….vulnerable,” said Angel, as he tossed the two of them lab coats. “Ya know, we don’t get visitors here a lot; let alone give ‘em hospitality,” he continued, as the two put on their coats. “Hospitality?! We just wanted help with our car! I’d say that’s a pretty reasonable thing, and you just ignored it!” Baxter yelled. “Damn...ya so forceful, Baxter. Pretty dominant for someone so damn small. Ya must be really proud, Nifty,” the spider grinned. “Oh um...yes! Yes I am,” she replied. “So Baxter, ya got any tattoos?” asked Angel. “No….that’s a weird question…” he answered. “No it ain’t. What about ya, doll?” Angel asked, looking at Nifty. “Uhh….” she started, but Angel walked past her and over to a tank. 

“Tonight, everyone here is gonna witness a breakthrough in biochemical research and paradise is gonna be mine! It was weird how it happened.Y’know, it was one of those moments when ya feel totally fuckin’ lost.Ya panic! Ya trapped! Ya back's against the wall.There's no way out, and then suddenly, ya catch a fuckin’ break! All the pieces fit into place. What a sucker ya were. What an idiot. The answer was there the whole time. It took a little accident to make it happen. That's how I discovered the secret. That ingredient, that spark that is the gift of life! Ya see, Baxter and Nifty, the two of ya are lucky. Cause tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is destined to be born!” Angel explained. “...we’re never getting to a phone, are we?” Baxter muttered. 

“Husk! Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator,” Angel ordered. Husk nodded and muttered something sarcastic, then he flipped the switch to activate the oscilloscopes in the panel. “Now, step up the reactor power input three more points!” the spider continued. Husk hit a few more buttons, and suddenly different liquids were sprayed into the tank. There was a human-esque thing wrapped in bandages laying in the tank, and as the liquids were poured, it started to take form. Shaking, the figure got to its feet, and Husk removed the bandage from the figure’s head. Angel gasped when he did; now he was staring face to face with a smiling redhead. “Oh, Alastor!” Angel exclaimed. 

Charlie and Mimzy helped Alastor out of the tank, then proceeded to cut the rest of the bandages off of him, until he was standing there in only a gold speedo. “Oh goodness, whose idea was this?!” he asked, looking down at what he had on. “Mine, and ya gonna like it. Now c’mere, baby,” Angel grinned. The deer did the only thing he could think to do. He screamed and started running. “For fucks sake,” Angel muttered, as he chased after him. They ran for about three minutes, until Alastor tired himself out and stood back by the tank. “Now baby, that is no way to behave on ya first day out,” Angel stated. “Well can you blame me!? You were chasing me like a lustful psychopath!” retorted Alastor. “Touché. But since ya such a gorgeous little thing, I’m prepared to forgive ya,” Angel smiled. “Oh joy,” Alastor sighed. 

“And now, my beautiful creation, ya ready for the ultimate test,” purred Angel. “Oh no,” Alastor said. “Oh but first, I got some people I want ya to meet,” Angel said, pulling him over to the lab assistants. “Okay everyone, be honest, whaddya think?” Angel asked. “He’s a uh...um...he’s a credit to your genius!” Husk said, before taking a sip of his whisky. “A triumph of the will!” Mimzy nodded. “He’s ok!” Charlie smiled. “Okay? OKAY?! I think we can do better than that,” Angel said, pulling Alastor over to Nifty and Baxter. “So, Nifty and Baxter, what do ya think of him?” he asked. “I um….I don’t really like men with antlers,” Nifty shrugged. “Well I didn’t make him for ya, sweetie. He’s got the Charles Atlas Seal of Approval,” Angel smiled, putting his upper arms over the deer’s shoulders. “Why must this be?” muttered Alastor. Suddenly, the freezer door swung open, and a motorcycle rolled out. “Fucking damnit!” Angel shouted.


	4. Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

“Vaggie!” Charlie exclaimed, excitedly running over to the motorcycle. Vaggie climbed off, before kissing Charlie on the cheek, then she started to sing. “Whatever happened to Saturday night? When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright.  
It don't seem the same since cosmic light, came into my life, I thought I was divine.  
I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go and listen to the music on the radio.  
A saxophone was blowing on a rock and roll show. We climbed in the back seat, really had a good time!” she sang, dancing with Charlie. Soon more people joined in, with Angel getting more and more frustrated. “Hot patootie, bless my soul! Really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock and roll!” sang the crowd, before Vaggie had a saxophone solo. Charlie watched excitedly the whole time, but Angel had gone off to get something. 

“My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled. My hands kinda fumbled with her white plastic belt. I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt. She'd whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine. Get back in front and put some hair oil on, Buddy Holly was singing his very last song. With your arms around your girl, you try to sing along. It felt pretty good, woo! Really had a good time!” Vaggie crooned, before the crowd started singing with her again. “Hot patootie, bless my soul! Really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock and roll!” they sang. 

“Hey bitch!” Angel shouted, cutting her off. Vaggie turned, and saw Angel coming towards her with an ice pick. She ran, but he cornered her in the freezer. Charlie covered her eyes and screamed, Nifty and Baxter watched in horror, but no one else seemed concerned that Angel murdered the girl before their eyes. Angel took off his bloody gloves and sighed. “One from the vaults,” he explained. “Why would you keep her around? She was so annoying,” Alastor said. “Aww, don’t get jealous, baby. She and I had a mental relationship. That was a mercy killing. I don’t swing that way anyhow. But you on the other hand….ya somebody I could get behind. Or under. Or on top of. I don’t got much of a preference,” replied Angel, causing Alastor to heave a long, drawn out sigh.

“There isn’t any getting out of this, is there? Alright, let’s just get this over with,” he said. “Yes! Hang on,” Angel took off his lab dress, revealing the corset again, then he and Alastor linked arms. “Ya can carry me if ya want,” Angel smiled. “No,” replied Alastor. “Fine, fine. I ain’t gonna push anything. I mean, it is ya first time after all. But it certainly won’t be the last,” Angel grinned. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” said Alastor. Angel just decided to ignore the deer’s protests from here on out; after all, he was his creator. The two of them went off to Angel’s room, and Husk sighed and looked back at Nifty and Baxter. “Well, I guess you fuckers need rooms. Mimzy, Charlie, go take them to the guest rooms,” Husk said, before he noticed Charlie crying and hugging Vaggie’s saxophone. “Fine, whatever, I’ll do it,” Husk sighed, before he and Mimzy led Baxter and Nifty to their separate rooms. 

“Oh man. Oh shit this was a bad idea! Oh man!” Baxter muttered, rocking back and forth in his bed. “It’ll all be over soon. We’ll be ok! We have to be,” Nifty said, before trying to fall asleep. Husk and Mimzy were in another room, looking over a tv monitor with live footage of all the rooms in the hotel. “And let the show begin,” Mimzy smiled.


	5. Thrill me, Chill me, Fulfill me

Later that night, Nifty and Baxter were still trying to sleep, but they didn’t have much luck. Then Baxter heard a knock at the door. “Who’s there!?” he asked. “It’s only me, Baxter!” replied Nifty. Or at least he believed it was. “Nifty! Come in, hurry,” Baxter said, getting the door for her. She ran in, quickly clinging to him. “Oh Baxter, Baxter I’m nervous. I don’t like it here,” she muttered. Baxter started running a hand through her hair. “It’s alright, Nifty. It’s going to be alright. We’ve got one another. We’re ok,” Baxter said, reaching to hold her hand. The only problem was, she had four of them. He reached for her hair again, pulling off the wig. 

“You!” Baxter exclaimed. “Yeah, I'm afraid so, Baxter. But wasn't it nice? Wanna go further?” Angel purred, getting off of his knees and using his normal voice again. “You motherfucker! What have you done with Nifty?” the fish asked. “Nothing. Why? Do ya want me to?” Angel asked. “You tricked me. I’d never. Ever!” Baxter said, before sitting on the bed and crossing his arms. Angel went and sat beside him, putting an arm around his shoulder and feeling up his chest. “Aww I know. But it wouldn’t be all bad, would it? I think ya might even find it pretty….pleasurable,” Angel said, as he started kissing Baxter’s face. “Oh so soft. So sensual….” the spider whispered, as he moved to kiss his neck. “Ahhh! No! Stop. I mean….Nifty!” Baxter shouted, but Angel put a hand to his mouth. 

“Oh shush, sweetie. Nifty is probably asleep by now. Do ya want her to see ya like this?” Angel asked, taking off Baxter’s lab coat. “Ah! Like this!? Like how? We’re not even doing anything,” Baxter said. “Ohhh but ya want to. I know ya do,” Angel said, running his hands along the shorter man, kissing him in between words. “Come on, Baxter, admit it. Ya want me. And I want ya too. There’s no crime in giving ya self over to pleasure,” purred Angel. Soon the fish started moaning at Angel’s gentle touch. “Nifty won’t know. I ain’t gonna tell her,” Angel whispered. “You promise you won't tell?” Baxter asked. “On my own grave,” answered the spider.

While the two of them were having their fun, Husk called on one of the monitors. “Oh for fucks sake,” he muttered, when he saw the two of them having sex. He covered the screen so he wouldn’t see. “Master, Alastor’s gone. Your new playmate is loose and in the hotel somewhere. Mimzy has just released the dogs,” continued Husk. “Aw fuck….HUSKER, I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. I’ll be there when I’m done!” Angel yelled, before going back to screwing the life out of Baxter. 

Meanwhile, Nifty hadn’t been able to sleep. She got up and started walking around the hotel, winding up alone in the lab. “Where’s Baxter? Where’s anybody?! If only we hadn't gone on this trip. If only the car hadn't gotten a flat. If only we were with friends or SANE PEOPLE!” she exclaimed, before running into Alastor. “Oh, sorry! Are you okay?” Nifty asked. “I’m most certainly not. I’m hiding from my creator and his assistants. I dislike them. What are you doing here?” Alastor asked. “Looking for Baxter. I have no clue where he is or what’s going on or…” she sighed, then noticed a monitor screen in the lab. “Oh! I can use this!” she smiled. She started flipping through stations, and stopped on a room when she saw Baxter and Angel making love to one another.

“Oh my gosh! How...how could he? I was saving myself for him. How could he?” Nifty muttered, as she hugged Alastor and started crying. Alastor was incredibly confused by this, and tried to return the gesture. “There there, little darling. It’s...it’s alright. You must feel awful,” he said. The cyclops pulled away and nodded. “I just...how could he? I just want to be loved and loved completely. And now...now I’m all alone,” she cried. “It’s..um...it’s going to be alright. You’ve come to this room for one thing and one thing only. Security. You’ll be fine,” said Alastor. “Th-thank you. You know, I only ever kissed before. I wanted my first time to be nice. And special. With someone who cared. But now I think I might settle for any guy who would give me the time of day,” Nifty said, before looking at Alastor pleadingly.

Once again, the deer sighed. “Is this going where I think it’s going? I thought you didn’t like men with antlers?” he asked. “Well, I’m engaged to Baxter. Just as Moxxie was to Millie. But he doesn’t seem to care. I just wanna feel loved once. Touch me! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me. Please?” Nifty asked. “Sure, fine. Apparently it’s all I’m good for around here anyway,” shrugged Alastor. And so the two of them had sex. It turned out that just hours after their engagement, Nifty and Baxter had both tasted…..dick.


	6. The Uninvited Guests

After Angel finished up with Baxter, he checked the lab. Just like Husk had said, Alastor was gone. Now Angel was angrily beating the cat with a whip. “DAMN OW! I said I was sorry!” Husk shouted. “How’d it happen?! I told ya to watch him!” yelled Angel. “I don’t fucking know! I was only gone for a minute!” Husk retorted. “Well try to find him on the damn monitor!” Angel ordered, as Baxter timidly walked in. He had been looking for Nifty; he was genuinely worried about what they could have done with her. Angel impatiently crossed both sets of arms as Husk started flipping through screens. 

“Uhhh I don’t know about your deer, but this asshole is here,” Husk said, as Angel and Baxter went to look at the figure on the screen. “Oh, it’s Sir Pentious!” Baxter exclaimed. “You know this bastard?” Husk asked. “Well yeah! He’s an old friend of mine,” he replied. “Ohhh okay. So this wasn’t a chance meeting after all. Ya came with a purpose!” Angel said, pointing at Baxter. “I told you everything! our car got a flat!” he said. “I know what ya told me, sweetie. But I know this Pentious fucker too,” continued Angel. “What did he ever do to you?” Baxter asked. 

“The two of us were rival scientists, plus the fact that he fuckin studies UFOs is just fantastic. And ya knew he was coming, didn't ya Baxter?!” Angel asked. “No! I didn’t! I swear!” pleaded Baxter. “We’ll see. He’s probably in the zen room, hang on,” Angel said. He flipped a switch, and before they knew it, the snake was sent tumbling into the room. “Angel Dust,” he muttered. “Hi, Sir Pentious!” Baxter waved. “Baxter? What on earth are you doing here?” asked Pentious. “Oh don’t fuckin play dumb, Pentious. Ya know what Baxter is doing here. It was all a part of ya plan. Baxter and his girl were gonna check the layout for ya. Well, too bad there’s gonna be a change in plans. Are ya adaptable, Sir Pentious? I know Baxter definitely is,” said Angel, causing the fish to look away in embarrassment.

“I can assure you that I had no idea Baxter would be here. I came to find Vaggie,” Pentious explained. “Oh...I saw her. She’s um…” Baxter stammered, before Angel covered his mouth. “Whaddya know about Vaggie, Pentious?” Angel asked. “I happen to know a lot about a lot of things. Vaggie happens to be my lab assistant,” Pentious explained. “Oh shit,” Baxter muttered. Suddenly the group heard noises on the other side of the room. They looked in the tank Alastor was first made in, and now they saw the deer and Nifty wrapped in a blanket. “Nifty!” Sir Pentious exclaimed. “Sir Pentious!” returned Nifty. “Nifty!!” Baxter gasped. “Baxter!” Nifty shouted. “Alastor!” yelled Angel. “Piss off!” Alastor shouted. 

Angel glared at him and walked closer. “Listen Bambi, I made ya, and I can break ya just as easy,” he stated. “Could you at least let me explain?” Alastor asked. “I don’t wanna fuckin hear it! Now shut ya mouth or else I’ll pull ya plug out,” returned Angel. Alastor sighed and climbed out of the tank, just as Mimzy ran in, banging a gong. “Master, dinner is prepared!” she shouted. “Oh great! The three unexpected guests can stay for dinner,” Angel smiled, before looking back at Nifty in the tank. “Formal dress is gonna be optional,” he said, before walking off, dragging Alastor with him.


	7. Planet Schmanet

Soon everyone was gathered at the dinner table. Husk and Mimzy were standing behind Angel’s chair at the head of the table, and everyone else was sitting. “Hang on, I gotta do something,” Angel said, before putting on a party hat. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Alastor, happy birthday to you,” he sang. “Oh goodness, this is demeaning,” Alastor muttered, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t know what ya mean, baby,” Angel shrugged, as he started carving the meat. There was an uncomfortable silence, and all anyone could hear was the sound of the electric carver. Mimzy and Husk gave out slices to the guests, then returned to their places behind Angel.

“A toast to absent friends and all that shit,” Angel said, raising a glass. The others did the same, then Angel started eating. Alastor sighed and followed suit, but the others weren’t as quick to start. “Right. So I came here to talk about Vaggie,” Pentious said. “Vaggie?” Charlie asked. “That’s a pretty touchy subject. Anybody want another slice?” Angel asked, causing the guests to look down at their plates again. “I knew she was in with a bad crowd. But it was worse than I imagined...Aliens!” Pentious shouted. “How would aliens even get to hell?” Baxter muttered. “Don’t question it,” replied Pentious. 

“Oh go on, Edgelord. I'm sure we’d all love to hear it. After all, I’m sure everyone here would love to hear about ya own little secrets,” Angel grinned. “What are you implying?” asked Pentious. “What was it ya said? I know about a lot of things. Just like what happened to ya little lab assistant,” he continued. “What happened?” Pentious asked. 

Angel smiled and got up from the table, then ripped back the table cloth, revealing a glass coffin, and inside was Vaggie’s mangled corpse. Everyone screamed, except for Mimzy and Husk, who laughed, and Alastor. “Is it bad that I liked it?” he muttered. Despite what he said, Nifty ran to him and hugged him for comfort. Baxter’s jaw dropped, and Angel’s eyes widened. “What the fuck, Alastor?! How could you?!” he shouted, before slapping Nifty. The cyclops immediately started running. Angel chased after her, and Baxter and Pentious followed them. The group ran to the lab, and when Nifty, Baxter, and a Pentious were standing in the center, Angel flipped a switch, trapping them there.

“My feet! I can't move my feet!” Nifty exclaimed. “It's like we’re glued to the spot!” Baxter yelled. “You are! And there’s no way out,” Angel smiled, as the others came in. “The device you’ve been working on. It is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory, physiomolecular transport device?” Pentious asked. “Damn straight, bitch,” answered Angel. “You mean…” Baxter started. “Yes Baxter, it’s something we have been working on. But it turns out Angel Dust beat us to it. A device which is capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space!” explained Pentious. 

“You mean he’s gonna send us to another planet!?” Nifty asked. “Planet, schmanet, Nifty! But before any of that, all of ya are gonna star in a floor show that I’m gonna direct!” Angel said. “You don’t really think you could get us to do that!” Baxter shouted. “Oh I don’t think, sweetheart, I know,” smiled Angel, before flipping another switch and turning the three of them into stone.


	8. It’s Not Easy Having A Good Time

Angel, Alastor, Mimzy, Husk, and Charlie stood there staring at the statues. “Wow,” Alastor muttered. “Well what can I say? Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Charlie, take them to the theatre and get them ready for the floor show,” Angel said. “Oh my gosh. I can't take any more of this! First you picked me up and treated me like dirt, then you froze and killed my girlfriend! You barely treat your ‘precious creation’ any better! You chew people up and then spit them out! Have you ever loved anybody? Once? I actually cared about you. And what did it get me? I'll tell you. A big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, take! You drain others of their love and emotions. Well, I've had enough. I’m done!” Charlie shouted.

Angel rolled his eyes and turned her to stone as well. “Alright, I’m gone!” Alastor shouted, as he tried to run. “C’mon! Not ya too!” shouted Angel. He blew the deer a kiss, then turned him into stone too. He sighed and turned to his servants. “It’s not easy havin’ a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache,” he said. “Mine too,” Husk muttered. “And everyone had to fuckin’ turn on me! I gave Baxter the best night of his life, and he just acted like an asshole! Then Nifty fuckin tainted my beautiful creation! Hell, even Al was startin’ to get as annoying as Vaggie. Maybe I shouldn’t have used half of her brain in him…” Angel muttered. “Excuse me master, but I’m getting sick of this place. When do we go back to Transylvania?” Mimzy asked.

“Mimzy, I’d like to thank you and Husk for all of ya years of service. And ya know, when the mood takes me, I can be pretty generous,” replied Angel. “I ask for nothing, master,” Mimzy said, with a hint of sarcasm. “And that’s just what ya gonna get,” Angel smiled. “You don’t have to be such a dick,” Husk muttered. “I’m sorry Husky, did ya say something? Do ya wanna get turned to stone too?” Angel asked. “Fuck No! I mean...no, no sir. I’m good,” Husk sighed. “That’s what I thought. Now, I’m gonna go and make sure everything’s ready for the floor show. Damnit, why do I have to do everything myself?” Angel said, as he walked off. As soon as he did, Mimzy turned to Husk. “You have everything, right?” she asked. “Of course I do. Let’s go. Before anything else shitty happens,’ replied Husk. Mimzy nodded, and the two of them went to prepare. 

Soon afterwards, Angel was in his robe, dressing the statues for their performance. As soon as they were all ready, he switched the lights and looked at his performers. “This is gonna be my best floor show yet,” he smiled.


	9. The Floor Show

The music began to swell. Angel hurried and straightened out the corsets he put on the statues. Then he smiled and unfroze Charlie. Her mind was racing, but all she could think to do was sing. “It was great when it all began! I was a regular Angel fan! But it was over when he had the plan! To start working on a redhead man. Now the only thing that gives me hope, Is my love of a certain dope. Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!” she sang.

Angel grinned as he unfroze Alastor, thinking the deer almost looked better in the corset than the speedo. “I'm just seven hours old. Truly beautiful to behold. And somebody should be told! My—DO I HAVE TO SING THIS?” Alastor shouted, bringing the music to a halt. “Do ya wanna get ya ass turned to stone again?!” Angel asked. Alastor sighed and kept singing, only much quieter and with no enthusiasm. “My libido hasn't been controlled. Now the only thing I've come to trust is an orgasmic rush of lust. Oh goodness...Rose tints my world, and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!” he finished. 

“See, baby? Was that so hard?” Angel grinned, as he unfroze Baxter. “It's beyond me. Help me, Mommy! I'll be good, you'll see. Take this dream away! What’s this, let's see? I feel sexy! What's come over me? Woo! Here it comes again!” sang Baxter, as Angel unfroze Nifty and ran to get in his place. 

“I feel released! Bad times deceased. My confidence has increased! Reality is here! The game has been disbanded. My mind has been expanded. It's a gas that I just landed! My lust is so sincere!” Nifty sang. Suddenly, the trumpets sounded as a platform rose. Angel was standing on it, dressed in a red corset instead of the black one. His performers stared up at him, as he gazed out into his imaginary audience. “Whatever happened to Fay Wray? That delicate satin draped frame. As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry. Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same,” Angel sang, before slowly walking down a set of stairs. 

“Give ya self over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh. Erotic nightmares beyond any measure. And sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't ya just see it? Woah!” he sang, before diving into a pool. Angel floated on a life preserver, smiling wistfully. “Don't dream it. Be it. Don't dream it. Be it,” he sang. The others repeated after him, before diving into the pool to have a massive orgy. Except for Alastor, he stood by the edge. “Oh you have got to be joking me,” he muttered. “Ya gotta get in, Al! It’s what ya were literally born to do!” Angel shouted. Alastor sighed and slowly joined the others, then they continued singing and making out.   
“Don’t dream it. Be it,” they repeated. 

As they did that, Sir Pentious watched in horror. “Alright, we need to get out of here. Before….whatever the hell this is, gets to our heads! I’ve got to be strong. Or my mind will snap! And my life...will be lived….for the thrills!” he sang, with a single red high heel on his tail. “It's beyond me, help me Mommy!” Baxter sang. God bless Lili St. Cyr!” sang Nifty. Angel climbed back out of the pool, smiling at his ‘audience’ again. “My my my my! I'm a wild and an untamed thing! I'm a bee with a deadly sting. Get a hit and your mind goes ping! Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing! So let the party and the sounds rock on. Gonna shake it till the life has gone! Rose tint my world, Keep me safe from my trouble and pain!” he sang, as the others followed him out for a kickline. 

“I'm a wild and an untamed thing! I'm a bee with a deadly sting. Get a hit and your mind goes ping! Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing. So let the part and the sounds rock on! Gonna shake it till the life has gone! Rose tint my world Keep me safe from my trouble and pain!” they sang. Suddenly, the doors to the theatre swung open, and Husk and Mimzy walked in wearing silver space suits, with Husk carrying a laser gun. “Angel Dust, It's all over! Your mission is a failure. Your life style's too extreme. I'm your new Commander! You are now my prisoner. We return to Transylvania! Prepare the transit beam!” Husk sang.


	10. Hello To Oblivion

“Wait!” Angel shouted. “Just lemme explain,” he continued. Everyone else went off to the side, as Angel took center stage. “On the day I went away, Goodbye. Was all I had to say. Now I, Want to come again and stay. Oh my, my, Smile and that will mean I may!” he sang, before kicking on a projector, making blue skies appear. “I've seen blue skies! Through the tears in my eyes. And I realise, I'm going home. I'm going home,” he continued, before walking off the stage. “Everywhere it's been the same feeling. Like I'm outside in the rain. Wheeling. Free to try and find a game. Dealing, cards for sorrow, cards for pain. I've seen blue skies! Through the tears in my eyes. And I realise, I'm going home. I'm going home. I'm going home!” Angel finished, with tears in his eyes. 

“Well...wasn’t that touching?” Mimzy said. “But you shouldn’t assume shit, Angel. See when I said we return to Transylvania, I just meant me and Mimzy. You’re going to stay here. I mean...in spirit anyway,” Husk said, pointing the gun at him. “Oh fuck that’s a laser!” Pentious gasped. “No shit, Pen,” Husk sighed. “So...so you’re just going to kill him?” Baxter asked. “Well...you saw what happened tonight! Society needs to be protected,” sighed Pentious. “Thank you! He gets it! So, Angel Dust, your time is up. Say goodbye to all this shit, and hello to oblivion,” Husk said, keeping the gun pointing at the spider. 

“Do ya worst, bitch,” Angel said. Husk fired, but Charlie ran between Angel and the blast. He survived, but she was killed instantly. Angel gasped, then tried to run. He started trying to climb up the curtain, but Husk shot him, sending Angel crashing to his death. Then Husk and Alastor locked eyes. ”I—I never liked him anyway!” Alastor said, smiling nervously. Husk rolled his eyes and shot the deer too. “Holy shit…” Baxter muttered. “Yep,” Husk nodded. “You killed them,” Nifty gasped.

“I thought you liked them. They liked you,” said Mimzy, putting a hand on Husk’s shoulder. “They didn’t like me. THEY NEVER LIKED ME!” he shouted. “You're alright by me, sir!” Pentious smiled. “Right…..Sir Pentious, I'm sorry about your assistant,” said Husk. “Yes, well maybe it was for the best. She was a bit of a bitch anyway,” Pentious replied. “You should all leave while you still can. We’re going to beam the hotel back to the planet transexual in the galaxy of Transylvania. So get the fuck out,” Husk said. “Sure, sounds good!” Baxter said, before he and the other two left.

As soon as they were gone, Husk and Mimzy smiled at one another. “Our mission is finally complete. Took fucking forever. Soon we’re gonna be back to our home planet,” he said. “Yeah. Sweet Transexual. Land of night. Where we can sing and dance again. To take that step to the right…” Mimzy started. “And it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,” Husk continued. “And we’ll do the time warp again!” Mimzy exclaimed. 

Outside of the hotel, Baxter, Nifty, and Pentious were walking off, when they turned and saw the building rise off the ground and fly into the sky. “All in favor of never talking about this again say ‘I’,” Baxter said. “I!” Sir Pentious exclaimed. “Ditto!” Nifty nodded, then the three of them went their separate ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the picture I based this on if you’re curious   
> https://www.reddit.com/r/HazbinHotel/comments/bjs7nm/rocky_horror_hazbins_this_took_me_forever_to_draw/


End file.
